Saturday, 28 November 2009


This morning, on our walk, he lazily kicks off one shoe, stuck his foot out of the stroller, and laughed as the weeds brushed against his sole.

He had run into my arms this morning, his arms outstretched. For the first time ever .. overjoyed to see me. Me!

I gave Max a piggyback through the park, his gangly pre-teen legs bouncing away. Mischka was let off the lead to run as far and wide as she could.

Last night I dreamt Big again. Tribal elders had come to our house, to sit at an ornate table. They then cleansed and smudged every room, with tinkling bells and sweet smoke. All the cancers wake was gone.

I woke up with the same feeling I get when I look into this blue:

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