Thursday, 5 November 2009


The world has sharp edges this week. I've found myself thrown around again, with no life jacket. Sick of the sudden ups and downs, sick of my own self. Sobbing SO HARD into Daves chest the other day, hiccupping. "I thought you were going to die! And you didn't die! Aren't we supposed to be happy every day for the rest of our lives now? We got through ... but why do I feel so BAD."

Walking around the house, waiting for the next disaster. A helicopter is poised to smash into my house, at all times. This is how I constantly feel. I know it's not normal, but then again, I never said I was normal.

I would *hate* to be married to me. Dave married me exactly four years ago today. "It's your wedding birthday!" Max told us both this morning.

But Rocco was crying and Tim was late and I was cranky and Dave is stressed and lunches and sick and bottles and recess and school clothes and taxes and quoting and emails.

That was all before 9am.

Life swallows me up and I crumble like a sack of shit and Dave is there ... always there, being the ground and the earth and drumming his drum.

And he didn't die.

All is Well.

Four years married, nine and a half years together. Being faithful to each other. We are good for each other, I think. When I was little I would stare out my bedroom window and imagine having a husband one day. I'd think about it all the time. "Somebody out there is growing up, just like me. And one day I'll meet him and fall in love and get married. WOW."

Now I show him my old-lady knees and he laughs and tells me I'm not old. (Did you know knees sag?!)

Happy Wedding Birthday, Davey Gravey. You deserve a motherfucking medal.


  1. Donuts??

    I love it.

    Beautiful dress, too. Beautiful Eden.

    Congrats to you two!

  2. Happy Anniversary to the beautiful bride with the saggy knees!

  3. That dress is gorgeous! Happy Wedding Birthday to you both.

  4. Happy Wedding Birthday. Love love the cake!!

  5. Happy Wedding Birthday. Love the cake and you are a beautiful bride. Hugs to you.

  6. Happy Wedding Birthday! I love that. Congrats to you both!

    The wedding pics are beautiful! Look at how little Max is, too! So cute!

  7. Eden, the first thing I thought is that I am totally jealous of your rack.

    Happy anniversary, mate,



  8. Congratulations!

    Love the dress... love the pictures... was sure that "cake" was a bagel cake (if so, yum!)

    And hey, after what you've been through, paranoia is a normal response.

    Be kind to yourself

  9. happy wedding birthday. a donut cake? that's fucking awesome.

  10. OMG is that a Krisy Creme wedding cake? You are awesome....and absolutley gorgeous!

    Happy Anniversary Eden and Dave xx

  11. Here's another one who immediately thought Bagel Cake before taking a second look! Lovely dress, lovely bride, handsome groom and gorgeous son. Clearly a day worth celebrating with the newest member of your family as the icing on the doughnut cake.

    Happy Anniversary!

  12. Great wedding pix! LOVE the cake :)

    I will check my knees as soon as I am done typing.....but I will have to move my boobs out of the way first.

  13. Grounded motherfuckers aren't they -- those men --


    Happy happy anniversary -- and I always think it's a miracle when people who are clearly meant to be together find their way to each other in this messy world.

    Such light comes from those photos -- and Max -- what a great picture!




  14. Happy Wedding Birthday to you both!

    You were an absolutely B-E-A-UTIFUL bride! And that wedding cake? Quite possibly the best fucking thing I've ever laid eyes on!

  15. You are beautiful Eden! Beautiful!

    I was showing my husband pics of you and your family on fb yesterday and my husband was all "What a beautiful family" - and you are.

    Happy Wedding Anniversary babe. If youve made it until now- you will make it through anything.

  16. Happy Anniversary :).

    You look gorgeous in that dress!

    And oh my that a donut cake?! Awesome :)

  17. I agree, donuts, the dress, Dave ... awesome. Happy wedding birthday. :)

    Your post made me think of this song ... which always makes me think of Mike ... and anyone who truly gets close to me, for that matter.

    Funny to wonder what the answer to that question might be. It probably depends on the day, yeah?


    D was here.

    PS. PTSD, Babe. Must be?

  18. Happy Wedding Birthday!

    How do you manage to look so effortlessly beautiful? And the cake is fabulous!

    I'm so glad Dave can be here to celebrate #4.

  19. Happy wedding!! Now I need to go find myself a donut.

  20. Happy anniversary! You look so beautiful!

    Life sometimes gets in the way of love - but I love the way Dave is there for you right now. Hang on to him babe. xx

  21. You looked GORGEOUS!
    Dave looked frickin hot!

    Happy Anniversary

  22. Happy Wedding Birthday! Man, you were a gorgeous bride. You are even more stunning now.
    I'm so jealous of your wedding. Did you save the top tier of donuts for your first anniversary?

  23. Happy Anniversary!

    I LOVE your wedding dress, you look so beautiful, Eden. And the donut! The donuts are awesome.

  24. Happy wedding birthday!

    Baby Max just slays me!! How adorable is he?! Oh my gosh, I just want to eat him up. NOM.

    Love the donuts.

    And YOU. So GORGEOUS! That first picture took my breath away. You look so willowy slender and happy. Lovely!


  25. You are so, so beautiful. Happy Anniversary, my friend. So proud to know you.

  26. Happy Wedding Birthday!

    Love the donuts.

  27. Damn you look hot in that dress!

  28. Ah, thank you for the love!! I was on the "pre-wedding stress" diet, it's awesome.

    Yes it was a Krispy Kreme Wedding cake .... by the end of the night there were so many fingermarks in the bottom tier, from curious little hands.

  29. Happy birthday wedding...late and all. Those donuts look heavenly.

    Wow...what you said about the helicopter poised to smashed into your house? I totally get that. In the wake of Owen's open heart surgery, I've become the same way. I keep hoping it's something that will fade with time or else I'm going to wind up some neurotic shut-in who's alienated her family and my reality show will run on A&E after Hoarders...

    Love you!! XO



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