Last night I discovered World Wide Scrabble - because I really needed another addiction in my life right now. I sat up in bed with my laptop and the heater on. Spring ... where did you go?
Dave gets home from soccer training ... or is that footy training? Or the gym? Gee, he has so much on lately that I FORGET. He always walks into the house just as peace descends .... Rocco and Max fed and bathed and played with and kissed and yelled at and cried to. I sit down a shaky mess and turn on my computer and in walks Dave, innocently asking what's for dinner? "Geez it's quiet hon, you've got it easy 'ay???"
Cue silent screaming.
Last night he walks in and asked me why I didn't light the fire, I'm like, well duh - I was too cold to light the fire, that's why I'm sitting in bed with the heater on.
He sighed and came to bed with me. I asked to swap sides, but he didn't want to. I told him that I want to be back on my side. Inexplicably, ever since his cancer, we swapped bed sides. I have no idea why, but I want my side back. I think it's symbolic. So he sighed and let me swap. We watched Packed to the Rafters, and then I started playing Scrabble. Dave was interested ... he is an amazing, talented guy .. but my God he cannot spell for shit. It took all of my might to sit there with him as he tried to "help" me play Scrabble. Like a puppy. Telling me to put in "banana", and I'm all, "Well, I would ... if I had a B. Or an A .... or an N, another A, another N."
"Just do it hon - it would fit perfect! And you can make "ackwatic". "Ummm, I have no K, or W ... and that's not how you spell aquatic."
Silent screaming again. It took every ounce to not laugh at him. Very early on in our relationship, I WOULD laugh. I am a very good speller, he is not. So I kept correcting him, earning myself the nickname "correctomondo". Dave would say or write something and I'd go, "What? WHAT?" So rude of me, I know. He asked me to stop correcting him, and I quickly realised it made him feel dumb. Which he isn't, I just couldn't believe his lack of grammar skills. So I stopped correcting him.
After about six months together, we went away with a big group of friends one weekend. We were all to cook a meal each lunch or dinner ... I chose to make Chilli Con Carne, which Dave loved. He started raving about it: "Ohhhhh, Edes is gunna make Chilli Con Curry! You wait .. it's the best Chilli Con Curry you've ever tasted!" I followed orders and did not correct him. Our friends looked a bit puzzled - after we had all eaten it, someone asks, "So, was there curry in it?" I said no, it was Chilli Con Carne. Dave was SO PISSED OFF that I'd let him tell everyone it was curry. I was like, mate, you asked me not to!
I actually love a good spelling mistake, and marvel at them in wonder, which is why I love this blog.
These days, I relish his grammar errors and ask him to repeat them. "What's that Dave? Chilli CON CURRY AGAIN??"
He calls me a very bad name.
So, last night he gets the hint and turns over and goes to sleep and I ended up on my computer until 2am playing Worldwide fucking Scrabble. It's random, people log in and out and end up playing against others from all over the world.
Guess who I ended up playing?
DEEPAK CHOPRA.
No shit. I got flustered, we each had two minutes to put down our words, and I was busting to go to the toilet the whole time. It was neck and neck .... in the end I had to contortion my body on the floor, to stop myself from wetting my pants. At first I thought, surely it's not THE Deepak Chopra. And then I thought - well, why not? If he's online playing Scrabble, why can't he play against me?
At one point Dave woke up and said what the HELL are you doing?? I was frantic, googling words to see if they existed. "I'm busting to go to the loo but I'm playing Deepak Chopra in Scrabble!" For the third time in one night, Dave lets out a big sigh.
__
PS Dave calls me "Edes" .... which I fricken HATE. I've tried unsuccessfully to get him to call me different things over the years, but it always comes back to "EDES". Recently I suggested "Edie", which he liked.
This years Valentines Day card started - "To Dear Eddie ....."
So now he calls me Eddie, which I hate more than Edes.
PPS It really was Deepak Chopra. And he WON. Spewing. Dave said it must have been because he was all calm and zen about it, not half-squatting with a red face trying not to urinate all over himself.
PPPS This post was supposed to be about my frozen embryos, but I'm too tired to write it now because I was up all night playing Scrabble with my new BFF Deepak.
