Thursday, 29 October 2009

Blogging Out Loud

Blog like you mean it. Blog when you want to ... but especially when you don't. Never think your stories aren't interesting ... if something is told well, with truth and meaning, it will make people smile. Or relate. Or cry. And come back to read more.

Don't box yourself in ... you are the boss of your own blog. You do not need to belong to any genre, or niche, or style. Be nice .. but do not be afraid to show your dark side; your faults; your defects of character. These are the things that will make people love you more. (We all have them, anyway.)

Don't try to be Dooce .. that gig is taken. Don't worry about stats, or readership numbers. Just write. Even if you just have that one person from Tennesee, or Rome, or Budgewoi commenting ... keep writing. If you stay put and stay true, people will listen. Build it, and they will come.

Spread yourself around ... be generous with your comments on other people's blogs. Think about who the person is. Make them smile if they need it. If all of the comments to one of their posts is about the same thing, choose one other thing to comment about ... the knick knack behind them in their kitchen. What you think the horse in their dream means. Be thoughtful, and mean what you say.

Never blog for comments. Never blog for comments. It doesn't work. People smell falseness a mile off. And don't think too much about what you want to write about. The best blog posts I've written are ones that I've just let flow out. Then think to yourself, well, I can't publish that. Publish it anyway.

It will keep you up at night, then the next morning you will go to take your post down and find that fairies have come in the night, disguised as people, and sprinkled a shitload of fairy dust over your depression-laden, pain-fuelled tirade. And you will crumple and cry at the sheer gratitude and relief you feel. At having been heard.

"I was here," says every comment. "I was here and I saw you struggle and here are some kind words, to help you through. Sounds like you need them."

Sometimes you will be the fairy, and somebody else will need your words, to help them through.

Be generous.

There are blogs for every conceivable thing. They are everywhere. Hang a welcome mat out on yours. Brew some tea. Shoot the shit. What's your darkest fear? What did you think when you were five? What's your take on the Russian Revolution? Do you think Jessica is totally jealous of Ashley now? What's your story?

Start your own damn meme. Make it the "This Blog Kicks Serious Motherfucking Arse" meme, and award it to seventy people. Have some fun. Show your mole! Dance! Tell us what makes you cry. I promise, you are not as boring as you think you are.

I wish my blog was more polished, with less swearing and more intellectual shit that I know I'm capable of. Alas. I started this blog as a way of showing prospective employers my writing style .... yeah right. This blog is now the last thing I would want prospective employers to see. As Jim Carrey profoundly says in Liar Liar ... "I can't ..... lie!"

I can't. My blog became way too personal, way too quickly. Occasionally I get a twinge, that too many people now know my stuff ... but so what. I'm actually not that important anyway. What a relief!

Don't embarrass others. Write often. Write for yourself. Don't think about it too much. Compose your next post as you stand in line at the grocery store, walking the dog, doing a wee. Laugh at yourself. Bring your petty jealousies out for all to see. "Check out what I think about this! Aren't I King Wanker!" People will nod and laugh at, and with you.

Don't mind the trolls. They are here to stay, but try not to let them get under your skin. Imagine yourself inviting them over for a freshly brewed coffee at your house, sharing a joke. That's probably what they yearn for anyway.

Be daring.

Be generous. You are amazing. You are terrible. Discuss.

All of it.

Lastly, but most importantly ... you do not need a reason to blog. None whatsoever!

As Kenickie says in Grease, "Rules are ... there aint no rules!"

I still don't know what I'm blogging for. And I kind of hope I never find out.

38 comments:

  1. Great advice love! Have to tell you though, this line had me in fits:

    I wish my blog was more polished, with less swearing and more intellectual shit

    Fuck yeah.

    Oh, and first.

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  2. So, in other words, you are telling me to not be the insecure 15 year old that I feel like, and let my shit fly.

    Got it.

    Oh, and if I wanted intellectual shit, I would read formularies and stock reports.

    I love you :)

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  3. This is great! But where is Budgewoi? :)

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  4. I love this post.

    Thank you for it my friend. And just thank you, for all of it.


    So much I don't even have the words today.


    Love,

    Pam

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  5. Great advice Eden!. It took me an hour sitting there with my finger on the button the other day to publish a very personal post...and I regretted it instantly. The next morning, there was such an outpouring of support that I cried reading it all.

    It's hard to divulge your deepest darkest secrets, but you do it so beautifully that it give us all a little extra courage :).

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  6. Love this post. Just lovely.

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  7. Blogging for me is therapy and the best therapy I have ever had!!
    And, it's basically free......what a bonus!
    Thanks for the GREAT blog entry.
    [BIG HUG]
    It is amazing how you can make such a good friend despite the fact you are on the other side of the world and it is day there when it is night here and summer there when it is winter here.
    Amazing world we live in.....just AMAZING!

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  8. Love this. Love. It's like you wrote it for me.

    I will never have a big fancy blog. I dont have ads. I am a small little blog. I write for me, under a moniker. I wish I had the balls to be exposed.. like my heroes - Eden & Heather.

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  9. Absolutely love this. So I just kirtsy'd it :-) http://www.kirtsy.com/story.php?title=blogging-out-loud

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  10. I didn't think it possible, but my esteem for you just rose AGAIN.

    Beautiful.

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  11. Fuck, I love you, Eden! This is one of the best things I've ever read.

    You commented on the knick knack behind me in my kitchen once, and it made me feel so loved. I still smile and think of you every time I use that Japanese mug.

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  12. What a terrific bunch of advice. I love it.

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  13. Oh, I needed to hear that today!
    Feeling bad that I don't write a brilliant response to everything that happens in the world; feeling bad that my introspective posts don't have as much value as my feminist butt-kicking posts; feeling bad that I don't write enough of what others want to read. Who on earth knows what that is? Keeping this in mind tonight as I write. THANK YOU!

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  14. Fabulous. This is just fabulous.

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  15. But you are just so damn interesting! I have 7 blogs I check daily. I don't use my "google reader" I just have those seven bookmarked across the top by my addy line. Everyday I go to them. Some have new, some don't. I find these seven people extraordinary. They have the ability to interest me in way most can't.
    I wish my intellect was as sharp and witty as these seven.

    So hats off to you Eden! You keep my laptop interesting...you and six others!

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  16. Ok, so this is totally convincing me to keep trying. Even if I don't post that often, or no one comments I'm still going to WRITE. Because I like writing. and damnit sometimes I'm funny! and sometimes i'm a.d.d. and sometimes I'm serious.

    Ok, lets do this shit.

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  17. this is really fucking awesome. brilliant and perfect.

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  18. Wonderful advice! If you go back to the very beginning of vacantuterus you can see all my horrible writing and how it evolves as I slowly learned all the things you just posted. I wish someone had told me this five years ago; there might not be so much crap on the internet!

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
    Flicka

    PS~Your sloganizer says "Jesus loves Eden." And He does. :)

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  19. ummm. i think i may have a new crush! haven't gotten chills from a post in a while. well done, you.

    must go read more...

    {and i wanted to name esme eden so so so badly. i still got the e, but still.}

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  20. See? This is why I love you so! You are amazing! :-)

    Yeah for Mel Kirsty'ing this!

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  21. Wow, that's funny, I've just installed a counter on my blog and have become slightly obsessed with checking it regularly... and then feeling terribly hurt when it's only one up from last time... and that was me!

    Blog for BLOGS SAKE.

    Love it.
    Love you!

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  22. Wow, you are spot on. You rock!

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  23. Dude, thanks for making me feel bad for not posting on my blog much lately. Now I'm going to go cry in the corner and overthink every blog idea that comes to mind ;)

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  24. I found you via kirtsy, and am glad I did. Nice post. The mummy blogging community in the UK is heating up right now and this is exactly the kind of advise we need!

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  25. That's just what I needed to read today. I know you were writing from the heart because mine responded.

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  26. What a fantastic post. This should be required reading for anybody thinking of starting a blog (and for plenty of us who have already done so).

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  27. Awesome post! So bloody true xx

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  28. Like a blogging ten commandments!

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  29. LOVE IT!!! Beautiful words as always:)

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  30. Thanks for the great blog advice!

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  31. Not sure how I found your blog -- doing some sort of google search surrounding my own daughter Eden's name. And you showed up. I am also 37, living in New York, two kids and about to adopt a baby. I began my own blog 2 years ago that was simply for me to figure out if I wanted to adopt. I was writing into the "blogosphere" never knowing or caring that anyone would find it -- but it felt good to just let it out there in hopes there would be those "magic fairies" that would give me a sign as to what to do. I wrote and wrote and wrote and my true feelings and convictions emerged. Two years later, we board a plane next week to Central Asia to make this dream a reality. It was the support of the people I actually met on my blog that became my saving grace. I never asked for it but it came. I only read a few of your entries so far but your honesty struck a chord in me and I wanted to stop by and say Thank you! How refreshing to read and how inspiring.
    Steph
    Stephanie

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  32. What a lovely post. If I had my doubts last week you made me remember why I first started my blog....for myself. It has become my daily companion, comments or not! Thanks.

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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