Friday, 18 September 2009

... and the gullet of the mother shall be passed down unto the sons ...

When Dave watches me eat or drink, he calls me "the gullet." Which is SO romantic. It's true, I have a huge capacity to fit things in my mouth (insert witty joke about blowjobs here) ... it's no surprise I've won every beer skulling competition I went in.

I have sat at the dinner table after eating, taken a sip of my sparkling mineral water, to find half a glass is gone. It makes me feel proud that Dave is so disgusted ... I say "I KNOW! CAN YOU IMAGINE ME IN MY DRINKING DAYS!!!" He almost shudders.

It appears I am harbouring a certain son with certain gullet-like tendencies of his own. I bought Max a roll of bubble gum as a treat .... parked the car, turned to him, and saw this:


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"Is that empty??"

He could only nod in agreement.

Then, the very next day, he had to read a book to his class. He chose Mr Noisy, his favourite of the Mr Men books. I happened to make a cake that night and asked Dave to ice Mr Noisy onto it, to celebrate Max's achievement. He did, we called Max downstairs and he was SO excited. Dave and I stood chatting while Max cut his cake. We turned around to see the piece he'd cut for himself:



SERIOUSLY. Max saw our faces, said, "Ummmmm, maybe it's a little bit big??"



I wonder if gluttony is learned or genetic. We have been known to search underneath Rocco's highchair for food he's obviously dropped because nobody could eat that quickly.

We never find anything.

16 comments:

  1. That's too funny! I think the piece of cake is a perfect size. Also, good job Dave, on the decoration!

    I get the stares in our household because I can eat with superhuman speed. My husband is constantly asking "Did you taste any of that?"

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  2. That is hilarious!!! I have the same issues... my eyes are much bigger than my mouth but somehow it always manages to fit??

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  3. Love it.

    You see- chocolate cake!!
    i want to make it- dont tell me it's from a box.

    I have a problem- I ALWAYS finish the food on my plate. Always. It's a bad habit I suppose. BUt I guess its better than going back for seconds.

    Oh and about the comment moderation- I think it's a new wordpress thing- bec i didnt change anything.

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  4. One thing that made G fall in love with me nearly 13 years ago now was my beating him in a beer drinking contest.

    I was very swaggering about it -- of course I was drinking then and said something wildly inappropriate to him about the key being able to open your throat and swallow (insert blowjob joke here) which is one of those drinking moments I cringe at now...

    And as for chocolate cake? While I no longer chug beer I can easily enjoy the portions Max doles out...

    What's life without a passionate appetite?

    XO

    p

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  5. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I was going to say that it's because he's a growing boy, but gum doesn't really count does it?

    I love the cake. That's great! I love those Mr. Men guys. Zilla is Mr. Grumpy or whatever the hell his name is.
    *HUGS*

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  6. Dont feel bad Eden....my daughter has the glutton gene. She is only 2 years old and she eats more than my 14 year old. She can eat a whole McDonalds happy meal by herself and then ASK FOR MORE FOOD!!

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  7. This just makes me love you more, Eden. I regularly have nearly double on my dinner plate what Manny has on his, and somehow seem to finish in half the time. I might feel shame if I wasn't too busy heading to the kitchen for seconds. Or ice cream. Or seconds and then ice cream.

    ps - I am wearing your pink shirt today and feeling all glowy and round.

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  8. Can I borrow you people just to inflate my ego about my lackluster cooking skills? One autistic kid, one willful toddler, one husband who is never home and one person who refuses to eat what she cooks, I now have a complex.

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  9. That is funny!
    Dang it. Now I want some cake!

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  10. Lol. That is too funny.

    I think eating everything in sight is a better thing to inherit from your parents than crooked toes. Sadly, that is all my boys got. :-)

    Oh, that and my propensity to burn.

    Hugs, E!

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  11. That cake looks good - Max can have his slice and I'll have the rest! I sometimes have the glutto thing going on...but more often I'm not that hungry, which is kind of a bummer at the moment! Having to make myself eat 6 times a day is SUCH a pain!

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  12. You're an amazing baker...I'm drooling at your cake!
    Can we borrow Rocco so that he can teach my babes to eat and not hide all their food under their high chairs?!

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  13. So funny. Reminds me of when I was a kid, my parents would get after me for putting too much food in my mouth and there would be hardly nothing there. I have very chubby cheeks and a very small mouth (much to the dentists dismay). I look like a damn squirrel with it's cheeks full of something.

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  14. I read this entry out loud to Sarge and then showed him the picture of Max and the gum. That SO would have been Sarge as a kid. When I said as much to Sarge he said "What? I did that last week at college!"

    And I don't know about genetics but Sam sure can house his food. I'm opting for learned behavior! Go gullets!

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
    Flicka

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  15. Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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