Monday, 10 August 2009

As far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.


We finally replaced our broken camera ... this is my wonderfully descriptive little boy having fun at the park yesterday.

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I have so many things to say .... but life keeps getting in the way of blogging. Darn you, life! Also, one of my sisters is having a rough time today, so I will share this story, then tell her to read my blog. How wanky is that? .. "Hi, it's me. Read my blog. Bye"

So, last night, Dave, Tim, Max, myself ... and even Rocco, were all watching the first episode of Australian Idol. Which meant we were watching seventy million ads as well. This one ad was for a panty liner. It's so STUPID. A woman is getting dressed in skin tight clothing, reefing her tight jeans on, and yells out to her boyfriend to please pass her one of her pads. (Or panty liners, I get confused. I am 37 years old and STILL buy myself the wrong pads, the wings stick to my seventies bush ... I frickin' hate wings).

So the boyfriend comes in holding up a choice of two pads. Of course she chooses the thin one, to fit into her skin tight clothing ... it may be thinner but it is more absorbent! Wow!

By this stage, I'm sitting there in Rocco's little green chair (because all the good seats were taken) .... writhing around, shouting how much I hate this stupid ad.

Max pipes up. "What are they?"

Tim starts sniggering, Dave smiles, and I go thoughtful. It's probably a little too early to explain a heavy flow to a seven year old. Max asks again. "What are they? Seriously, what are they?"

At the same time that I said "Womens things," Dave goes, "Bandaids."

Tim loses it and falls off his bean bag, I shift in Roccos tiny chair. (I would need one of those pads/panty liners, to fit into that chair.)

Max turns to me. "What ARE they mum??"

Every effort was expended to not guffaw next to Tim. I didn't want to make Max feel stupid ... but then Dave just says, "Ladies put them on their bum."

Simple. Crisis averted ....... UNTIL ........

Max nods, understanding. "Ohhhhhh ..... a vagina nappy."

VAGINA NAPPY.

(In Australia, nappy means diaper)

I laughed so loud that I fell off my stupid little chair. So I stole Tims beanbag.

22 comments:

  1. Oh mate I SO NEEDED THAT!!!

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  2. hahahhahahaaa!!!

    The other day, Ella asked me "Mommy, is your vagina bleeding again?"

    awesome.

    Your 70s bush? I just got a clean sweep brazilian. Except now I feel like I'm 7.

    (p.s. i love you!)

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  3. OMG I swear I almost woke the babies up I was laughing so hard! HILARIOUS!!!!! I even got a giggle out of the husband on this one!

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  4. Splutter!!! they get called nappies in my house too ... as in 'mum, why are you wearing a nappy?'

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  5. Ok so first off your title reminded me of a plaque I saw in one of my many catalogs tonight. It said "As far as anyone knows, we're all normal".
    I cringed a bit at the whole wings and 70's bush as there is nothing quite like that special feeling of getting the pad stuck to the wrong damn thing. Yikes. I also loved how you were all struggling to come up with a "good" way of telling what they were for when Max already knew. That was good. Almost fell out of the chair laughing.

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  6. hahahaha! Max is just too clever !

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  7. Oh Eden. I sooooo get your house full of males.

    In my world, forevermore, pads will now be called vagina nappy's.

    Forever.

    BTW I don't need my drawer full any more, you want 'em? ;)

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  8. I don't usually comment, but I always learn something reading your blog. Today's lesson...work on those pelvic floor muscles. I nearly wet myself reading that.

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  9. Brilliant. Seriously.

    I think you must be related to Aunt Becky, Aussie Queen of the Sausages.

    XXOO

    D. was here.

    PS Hugs for Tee

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  10. Hiliarious! That boy Max will one day be an Ad exec with the lines he comes up with.

    Vag Naps.

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  11. Dude, I was eating my lunch just as I read "70's bush"

    thanks for that image... and yes I still ate my salad.

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  12. just peed my pantiliner a little bitty.

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  13. I SO totally hear you about the wings vs. bush issue. Ouch. I believe the following line is from Microserfs by Douglas Coupland, and to me it sums up the whole wings situation perfectly: "I hate pads. They're like getting a drive-by waxing."

    And vagina nappy is the best.term.ever. Please tell Max that I super extra puffy heart him to infinity and beyond for adding that to my lexicon.

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  14. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I LOVE IT!!!!!

    And total ouch on the wings. They are evil and were invented by a man, I am sure.

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  15. AHAHAHAHA a vagina nappy!!! that's fucking awesome! Way to go Max!
    *HUGS*

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  16. Fabulous!

    Hey, thanks for the image of the 70's bush. I won't be able to knock that out of my head all day.

    Vagina nappy...ha ha ha ha ha ha - Brilliant!

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  17. Bwa hahaha! A Vagina nappy! Is that similar to a Vagina Posse?

    Dude. Diva Cup. Seriously.

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  18. That totally made my day! Oh how I needed something to make my day too! Thanks E!

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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