Friday, 10 July 2009

You Win This Time, Penis

I've had a blah yucky week. Scratching the surface a bit deeper, I realise it probably has something to do with the death of my favourite uncle. My sisters and mum are going there today, for the funeral/memorial service. But I'm not going. I have heaps of excuses ... six hours to drive there, no childcare for my kids, I'm still on antibiotics, etc. Or, it could be my vow to not go to any more funerals. At last count, I'd been to seventeen. I have known a LOT of people who have died. Odd that the word "fun" is in funeral. Funerals make me want to howl at the moon ... every time I go to one, just triggers all the other ones and I am grieving a big, big grief and it's too hard.

I wrote in a card to all of my cousins, telling them that Uncle Vince taught me and my sisters what a "real" dad was. He would challenge Dave for the Ocker Aussie Bloke crown .... we spent many school holidays on his farm where we would help get all the sheep ready for shearing. I rang him a few weeks ago, he told me how proud he was of me and how far I have come. "You were always a delightful little kid, Eden. Always had joy in your heart."

Was I? Did I? I've never really had adults to mirror back to me what I was like as a child, so his words were a gift. (Never a day goes by when I don't tell Max some quirk or funny something he used to do when he was younger).

It would never cease to amaze me how much Uncle Vince would heap love and more love onto his four daughters .... that you could have a parent like that, who wanted to know you and play with you, didn't get cranky unless you really did something wrong. He died from cancer, which was a bit too close to home for me.

But I'm thinking of you, Uncle Vince. Thank you for throwing some love my way .... it helped sustain me like those crazy fucked-up trees that grow on clifftops and only need a few drops of rain each year to survive.


Anyway, here are some totally random pics I found on my computer -

Mum holding me as a baby. Is it just me, or does my big fat Charlie Brown blockhead scream "Mother of Rocco!!":

Not happy, Max! (Taken when he was four):

This is a picture of my bath. I'm not joking when I say you need to pity me:

....... try bathing a baby IN THAT FUCKING BATH. Also, it is a prick to clean. Also, in winter, our bathroom is the Antarctic. Max and I made up a song to sing to Dave: "The penguins, they get too cold, in this baaaaaaath-room." Dave sang back in the exact same way: "The penguins, they need to be graaaaaaaateful they even HAVE a baaaaaaath-room."

Dave dressed up as George Michael for a friends party last year. He gives great gay, don't you think? His faux brown leather jacket covered the "W" on his shirt, so he walked around all night with it saying simply "HAM". (Which made me hungry, as I was eight months pregnant at the time):

Lastly, this is what I would totally try to do if I were a guy:


  1. Eden, I'm sorry to hear that your uncle passed. The part about the trees growing out of a cliff put a lump in my throat...

    (Would I cheapen the moment if I said again, that Dave is really hot? Even dressed up as George Michael. Am I being obnoxious about this? I will stop.)

  2. Sorry about the passing of your uncle. I am so glad you got to speak with him before he left.

    I love that you can still make me smile after reading a post like that :)

  3. So sorry to hear about your Uncle. He sounds like he was an amazing person who told people how much they meant to him.
    Love the pics. that last one is funny. yes you do look a lot like Rocco and Dave is funny as George Michael. As much as I wouldn't want to have your bathroom permanently it sure would be nice to come take a long bath with lots of bubbles and candles.

  4. Sending you lots of love and peace for the loss of your uncle. I'm glad he was there for you as a child. Those are precious memories that you have.

    Love the random pictures. The last one cracks me up! I've seen it before and every time, I almost piss myself from laughing so hard!

  5. Lovely uncle you had, so glad you talked to him. And verily I say unto overseas types, Eden's house is m*********in' amazingly huge.

    Maybe it's time she got a cleaner, yeah?

  6. I am sorry that you lost your uncle - some of those family members that we think of as peripheral can have huge impact on our lives.

    Great pictures - I love your bathtub. But it would be good to have a second one more child friendly...

  7. So sorry you've lost an uncle, someone who was a father-figure to you. The analogy of the tree on a cliff really struck me...

    That is an absolute gorgeous bathroom btw, but how on earth do you get a baby in that tub? Shoot, I'd bathe him in the kitchen sink if I had to deal with that every night...

    Love the pics :)

  8. " Funerals make me want to howl at the moon ... every time I go to one, just triggers all the other ones and I am grieving a big, big grief and it's too hard."

    Yes. I so understand -- its that place you know is there -- the cold wind blowing from it? I'm the same way. I'm so glad he was in your life to show you unexpected things about yourself -- it's true -- so often we don't see who we are, do we? (You, by the way, are one of my favorite case you don't see it.)

    Oh, and the bathtub? That's my DREAM BATHTUB. Not kidding, and if fact I pulled out a thing from a magazine to keep for G to 'remodel' our basement 70's bathroom from hell...and it looks just like yours...I covet it -- even in antarctica --and the songs? I can so see that back and forth in our made me laugh out loud.

    I'm out of town for the weekend but I'll catch up with you next week lovely.



    Oh and as a total random aside there was a National Geographic program on Australia and I said to G " i really want to go there someday...I would love it. Except for, well, the poisonous things...cause, aren't there like all sorts of poisonous things there?" and then I told him the story of you sitting on your deck answering our questions with your beautiful voice.



  9. My condolences about your uncle. I despise going to funerals; I've only been to 3 because of it. I just don't want to remember the people I love that way. Want to talk about messed up... it's some kind of weird Italian tradition to take pictures of the dead as a keepsake. My aunt did it at both my grandparents funerals, and I wanted to smack her.


    I LOVE your bathtub, but I can see how cold it would be in the winter. Hell no.


    And I totally had a crush on George Michael in the 80s. LOL

  10. When my favorite uncle died, I told my cousin how lucky he was to have had such a great dad (since mine sucked monkey balls) and he looked at me and said "he was an asshole".

    It blew my mind. I only remembered the uncle that loved to laugh and was a gentle soul who always had time to play a game of checkers with me.

    I am glad you had an uncle that was able to see the spark and twinkle in your eye and joy in your heart. He knew it was in there all along :)

  11. I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. But glad he was able to give a little love to you when you needed it. Remember him in your own way.

    When I am next in Oz can I please come and have a bath? I so love the look of that...incredible. I wouldn't even mind it being cold in there if it was winter :-)

  12. Hi Eden,

    I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. By your description, it sounds like he was a wonderful man. Hearing about someone like that reminds me to be more generous with kind, loving words, and to try to be less cranky and play more often with my daughter.

    How wonderful that he said what he said to you during one of your last (perhaps your last?) conversations with him.

    I hope this coming week is a better one for you.


  13. Eden, I'm so sorry to read about your uncle. Thinking of you.

  14. I am very sorry for the loss of your Uncle. You are an excellent writer.

    Although, I must state, that once I saw the picture of the bathtub, I forgot there were words on the page ..I was dreaming about a hot bath ... candle-light, Kid Free and LOTS OF WINE and grapes being fed to me - and no one talking to me at all


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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