Thursday, 30 July 2009

We're on a Remission from God

In the car this morning:

Max: "Forty- THREE! Oh my goodness, that's a long long time. That's HEAPS of years. And he's still alive! Wow. *Shakes head* Forty three."

It's Dave's birthday. I am taking him to a surprise destination for dinner tonight, told him to dress sharp, as it's a very top-notch restaurant. I can't wait ... I drove there this morning, to find out where to park. And read the menu on the door .... full of fancy stuff, like pigs cheeks and trotters encased in pastry! This is the best restaurant in the area we live, and neither of us have ever been to it. As I drove off I accidentally did a big burnout on the fricken' gravel. What an idiot. This morning he opened up his pressies, laughing and smiling that we all got up at a God-forsaken time to celebrate with him. Rocco bought him a holder for the remote controls, Dave laughed and laughed. One of Dave's pet hates of all time is getting all comfy and then Rocco has put the remote somewhere. If he can't find it, even I get a little scared - and usually I am the scary one.

Some relationships seem so much more easier and fluid than ours. I shouldn't compare, but you know how you see those old people and they're all like, "We're soul mates! Not one cross word in sixty years." And I'm on the couch looking at Dave thinking, Soul mates Pffffft. Not one cross word in, ooooh, 40 minutes!

And I fantasize about never sharing the bed again and his big stupid booming voice and the way he walks in the house when I'm trying to write, wanting to talk and talk because he has a spare ten minutes and I have to say "DAVE! You know when I ring you and you're on top of a roof or some shit and you can't talk?? Well, I'm on a roof, mate. I'm on a frickin' roof."

But then ..... he is the guy who tamed the untamable. Who got just as excited as me, in the beginning of our relationship nine years ago, when I would buy tins of soup and heat them up - with toast! Look ... I made dinner! Dave is hands down the most grounding influence I have ever had in my life. Everybody needs a Dave. He laughs at my neurotica, taught me to love long walks and exercise, and wholesome food. Made me stop wearing black every day of my life. He turned to me once in those early days of dating, and said, "I'm going to marry you one day. And build you your own house to write in."

And he did! He says things and DOES them.

Some people are so shameless in their assumption he is going to get sick again, that even he notices. They get this slapped-arse look on their face and say, "And how's Dave? Tsk tsk." And we say he's fine but they STILL HAVE THE SLAPPED ARSE FACE. Like, it's unspoken that he's in remission for now, but relapse is just around the corner. I want to punch them, but Dave just laughs about it. We won't tell anyone, anyway. If I have to parade Dave's dead corpse around town like in Weekend at Bernies, and get asked by people "How ARE you Dave?" And I'd make his hand wave and parrot behind him "I'm fine! Nothing to see here, people."

But, luckily I don't have to lug my husbands rotting dead body around town pretending to all the naysayers that he's ok ... because today, he really is ok. And we argued for a week straight but now we're not and we are celebrating the birthday we didn't really know he'd get to see with a shwanky plate of steaming pigs trotters.


  1. Hope the pigs feet are good :)



  2. Happy birthday Dave! I hope you enjoyed your dinner.

  3. Happy Birthday Dave ! Have a great time ! xx

  4. Happy, happy birthday to Dave and I hope you all have a fun day and great year x

  5. Happy birthday Dave!!!
    What is it with men and their damn remote controls. My ex would come wake me up to help him search for the remote for 30 minutes rather than just turn the freaking TV off. Drove me crazy (course it's a short trip but still).
    I hope you enjoy your dinner but I'm almost afraid to ask. What are trotters? Cause my grandma used to refer to diarrhea as the trotts. And that's just yucky.

  6. I just started reading your blog - but I'll say it anyway...Happy Birthday Dave!!

    This post brought tears to my eyes. It's so hard to put into words how wonderful, yet completely frustrating a marriage can be. There are so many times that my husband and I are on the verge of killing each other and then there are the really special moments that make everything else go away.

  7. I love the "Weekend at Bernie's" description. And I really love that you're getting to celebrate this birthday with your beloved. Enjoy!


  8. I'm with you on the soul mates thing! I'm currently engaged in a silent treatment/passive aggressive/utterly polite war with my love, as he is a selfish prick. Sigh.

    I hope your dinner was divine (although the selections you've mentioned do not appeal to my plebian palate). Happy Birthday, Dave!

  9. I'm perpetually late to every party I go to, but Happy Birthday, Daver!

  10. Happy Birthday, Dave! You might be a cocksecure sometimes, but then again, we all can be cocksecures sometimes, so I forgive you. Thanks for grounding our girl Eden and making her not wear black every day and for saying things and then doing them. That's awesome, mate.

    And Eden - I'm laughing my head right off at the thought of you doing a big burnout outside the swanky restaurant. Too cool for school, you are.

  11. Oh E, I burst out laughing when I pictured you and Dave doing "Weekend At Bernie's" ... I didn't know I could laugh that early in the morning. Thanks for that.

    As for the Tsk, Tsker's ... cocksecures. They have malignant personality cancer. Pity.

    Happy Birthday, Dave! Excellent week to be born, excellent vintage, if I do say so myself. ;)


  12. Happy birthday Dave! I heart your woman! Oh and I think your remission is one that is going to last a very long time - someone's gotta keep Eden in line!

    You can have my share of pig trotters (ewww) but the swanky restaurant sounds great. Try not to do any burnouts or flick food across the restaurant while you are there.

    Hey Eden - my hubby and I - we don't fight. Sometimes I think we need don't sweat it. Some folks fight, some folks don't. No marriage (or man) is the same.

    Finally - read a line today that cracked me up and made me think of one of your posts from a while back:

    "If a man speaks and there is no woman there to correct him, is he still wrong?"

    Snigger. Snort.


  13. happy birthday Dave!

    "Some relationships seem so much more easier and fluid than ours" mine looked just like that , until one day it wasn't ... so don't compare, what you have is real and honest! have a fun time with your man... We is okay, really okay, and how great is that?


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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