Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Meat

Last week, Dave had organised a dinner party. I asked him, what was he going to make for it? Of course we both knew that I would do all the cooking. And I did - the morning of, I was putting together 45 gourmet meatballs, rolling them while feeding Rocco his brekkie and tying Maxs soccer boots up. Then, I baked a wholemeal berry cake with cream cheese frosting, and cleaned up a bit. Then, Dave informs me that he had cancelled the dinner.

Tim looked at me, looked at Dave, and wisely stepped out of the room while I asked Dave a few questions - like, who the hell was I cooking for then??

All of Dave's good mates were coming up, and he canned it because he was too stressed.

Cancer has knocked Dave around, more than he will ever admit to. It's usually ME, doing the friend-push-awaying, and canning plans. (My sisters call me The Flake.) Dave has not been himself, since, oh ..... 14th May 2008. He's deciding a lot, thinking, planning. He's not happy.

I think it's good. He needs a big life change - cancer gives you new glasses to view the world. He has only put his on now, a year after the diagnosis.

I love Dave very much. Finally I deigned to take his call today. (He and Tim have been Away). He said he missed me, and I snorted. But he meant it, and I miss him, so the housesitter is organised and soon I shall be Away too.


This morning Max begged. "Mum! Please, please can we NOT have meatballs for dinner!"

I've eaten a piece of that damn berry cake with cream cheese frosting every fucking night this week. Sometimes two pieces. It's like I have bulimia without the vomit.


Dave hasn't been here for his usual 5am bottle duty for Rocco. I do my deepest sleep from 2am - 6am. Max has gleefully been allowed to sleep in with me all week. Now, I don't remember doing this but it's definitely something I would say .. Max tells me that this morning (at 5am) I told him that if he gets up and heats Rocco's bottle to 50 seconds and gives it to him, then I will give him seven thousand dollars.

So he got up, did the bottle, and will now tell me I owe him seven thousand dollars every single day until I die.


Told Dave I bought a new Trivial Pursuit. Silence. Then:

"But you always win."

"Well hon .... I can ask you the kid questions, so you're in with a chance!"



Taking my computer Away with me. So going to blog while I'm there.


I hate 5am bottle feeds.


Just then, I checked my emails to find my sister has sent me footage of a female nude skydiver. The camera panned over her lady parts, as she was falling through the air .... I won't describe what I saw, but the title is called: "WAT.CH THE TA.CO FL.UTT.ER."


  1. Nude skydiving should be illegal. Ew.

  2. Wow - I knew I had an eating disorder, but it never had a name before. Bulimia without the vomit. I love it!

    Taco flutter - sounds like a good name for a rock band.

  3. I'm glad you took his call and yay for Away-ed-ness. Enjoy!

    (And of course I had to google that vid - rofl - why would anyone in their right mind do that and how weird must she feel now that it's posted for the world to see.)

  4. Tell you what I did when I bribed son #2 to do a task for me involving son #3. I told him I would pay him 50 bucks. When he was done, he asked for the money, I looked in my purse (yeah, right, like there has EVER been 50 bucks in there) and told him I would have to write him a check.

    When we got home, I did. Except I put the date on it for 10 years later, the date he would graduate from high school.

    I still have the check and show it to him every once in awhile, he calls me a rotten mother and we both laugh.

    Oh, and I also closed that account about 6 years ago :)

    AND...thank you for pointing out that I truly do have an eating disorder. :)

  5. You had an entire post I could comment on but you ended with Taco Flutter and I just threw up.


  6. Fluttering Taco. Now there's a band name!

    It takes men longer, doesn't it, to adjust to the new glasses? Or to even put them on in the first place, as you say. I always find it hard to respect that pace, but there's really no way around it.

  7. oooh. I want to see the nude lady skydiver! I've seen the nude man skydiver, it was pretty good but looked like it should be painful.
    I think I would have quit speaking to Dave for a few days too. Glad that things are all good again though. Enjoy your time away. Oh and I love the part about Max getting up and doing Rocco's bottle. So funny.

  8. I have seen the male skydiver but never the female, sounds scary!
    Have a great time !

    Oh and don't forget you owe Max $7,000!

  9. That last one- I wonder if that hurt or tickled? :)


  10. DUDE.

    Why are you NOT coming to blogher.

    I am very upset. Wish you were.

    My nickname in hig school was

    "watch the taco flutter"

    that is all.

  11. You need to install a PayPal button on your sidebar so you can get a start on that $7,000. Max will never forget!

    Sarge was perusing my FB page and he saw your "bulimia without the vomit" status and came to tell me about it. "I don't remember which one of your friends had it," he said "but it was pretty funny." I think he was slightly shocked.

    Send some of that berry cake my way, eh? We like meatballs, too.


  12. Fax me some meatballs, please.


    Enjoy getting away with your computer. I hope you get some sleep!


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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