Sunday, 7 June 2009

Provocation

Rocco got better, then he got worse. Then he banged his mouth on the steps SO HARD that his lips blew up so big he now looks like Lisa Rinna.




I took a photo of him on my phone and text it to Dave, he's like "What the fuck have you done to him!!"

Then I got a tummy bug and have been vomiting and toilet-destroying all morning.


BUT.

We have had the best weekend together. Yesterday, we held our own personal U2 concert, blasting video clips on the big TV. It was kind of triumphant for us both ... not even U2 could make me feel better last year after Dave got diagnosed, so I shunned them for a while. The first song that came up was "Beautiful Day" and looking at the DVD cover I noticed it was filmed in France in October 2000. The exact same month I got clean. I had a funny river feeling in my heart, and looked at Rocco as he held his dummy up to the sounds, like he was waving a lighter at a rock concert.

"Hello! Where did you come from?" We have played and bonded and have not left the house all weekend. My little embryo implanted, and now I am watching Bono sing to him. Beautiful day indeed.

2009 BlogLuxe Awards

My blog has been nominated for "Most Provocative" ... at first I spun out and thought, is that bad? But, I have decided it's good. What is provocative, anyway ... but truth-telling. (The dictionary says "To provoke sexual desire" but whatever.) When I go about my IRL world, I like to tell the truth, and not pretend.

I went to many rehabs, detoxs, and a few psych wards. (What? We're all crazy, right?) One day, at the last (hopefully) hab I was in, I asked to read my file. The counsellor questioned why, then handed it over. I will never forget the very first sentence:

"Eden has no idea what being honest means."

Some brain synapses started to form together ... apart from being insulted, I actually wondered if this was true.

Some eight years later, I like to think I know when I am being honest or not. Some days I am too honest .... I thought I would start this new blog and link it to prospective writing clients, and show off my writing style. HA. No frickin way. I feel like Jim Carey in Liar Liar ... "I ca-ant, lie!!" I have a tendency to be a "naked" blogger and I just can't help it. I won't say "Dave and I had an argument" but "I want to rip Daves head off, why did I get married?" Not "I was sick this morning" but "Just then in the shower I pushed pieces of coffee-flavoured apple down the drain with my toes." Not "I have a touch of PND" but "I want to run away from my family to some exotic island and do hard drugs with a toyboy lover."

I have a big post brewing about what blogging has meant to me. I started two years ago, to document my IVF process. And then all this "life" stuff happened, so I kept writing. I'm extremely excited about my new header that I've ordered. Game on, baby. But, Lisa just woke up and I need to go and vomit right now. I will NEVER get used to vomiting from sickness and not alcohol. It's just not right.

17 comments:

  1. "(The dictionary says "To provoke sexual desire" but whatever.)"

    I get hot every time I click over.

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  2. Poor baby with a fat lip and poor sick you. I hate puking. Hope you feel better soon.
    That comment in your chart seems like it would be a bit of a wake up call. I believe honesty is best and I can't stand being lied to but I'm horrible at standing up for myself and so I'm probably not as honest (to myself at least) as I should be. I love your honesty. And yes I think we all are a little bit crazy.

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  3. I've always regarded your honesty as a special gift and am so pleased you've shared your stuff with me (OK, so I get jealous when you share some of it with teh rest of the world ... ) - mwah!!

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  4. Eden~We love you "naked"! You say out loud, what you are really thinking, while the rest of us have that proverbial stick up our asses and hold back, worried we might offend.

    You are my queen :)

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  5. At my first professional job, I had many people tell me how "honest" I was - and they meant it as a criticism. So, I have learned (somewhat) to refrain from volunteering any information or opinion. Woe betide anyone who ASKS me what I think, though. They are usually surprised by my extremely frank answers.

    Hope you're both feeling better soon - I'm glad you fit in some bonding time between bouts of vomiting!

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  6. "no idea what being honest means"? Was that man on crack? Jeez. You are one of the most honest people I know!

    To me provocative means thought provoking. Your posts always leave me with something to think about--often for long after I have left my computer. (in a good way, of course :-) )

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  7. Provocative. Yeah. I can see that :-) Congrats on the nomination, well deserved.

    Hope the vomiting passes soon, the fat lip goes back down to normal baby size, and that you guys have another U2 concert really soon. Sounds awesome!

    Hugs from Kiwiland!

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  8. Aww poor Rocco and poor you! I hope ya'll feel better soon! Hang in there, hon. Sending you lots of love and lots of healing vibes.
    I'm voting for ya!
    *HUGS*

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  9. Naked bloggers are the best writers! They have the best blogs as far as I'm concerned.

    That's you!

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  10. I'm voting like mad, dude. You should win, sexual desire and all ;)

    I am totally adding you to my reader.

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  11. Provocative??? YOU??? :)

    And because I'm brutally honest too, a few years ago I decided I wanted my chicken lips puffed up a bit, so I got a little restylane.....I seriously looked like Donald Duck! It was horrible. I don't know why Lisa does it because hers just look like one big lip with no little heart dip.

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  12. I'm voting!

    I have always just found you straight to the heart honest. I adore that about you.

    Oh I hope you're better soon my friend -- you and everyone in your household...

    XOXO

    Pam

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  13. I love the new header! Wow. Totally awesome, mate. (I can say "mate" right? Doesn't sound cheesy?)

    Sorry to hear about the Lisa lips. My brother once had a case of those (fell off his bike while under my care; neighbor fed us ice cream until parents came home, Mom felt much guilt and didn't leave us home alone again until we were MUCH older.) We mocked him for weeks. But I guess mocking a baby would be cruel. U2 concert sounds much better!

    I think you've grasped the concept of honesty. :-) And I love it.

    XOXOXOXOXO
    Flicka

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  14. Great new look !

    Poor Rocco, I hope his lip has gone down. Congrats on the nomination. I am going over to see if it's not too late to still vote.

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  15. Whoa, first of all it's all different over here, very nice. I like the header.

    Zach spent a few days with those lips as well. Everywhere I went I was sure people were whispering about my parenting.

    Provocative, eh? Wow!

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Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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