Provocation

Rocco got better, then he got worse. Then he banged his mouth on the steps SO HARD that his lips blew up so big he now looks like Lisa Rinna.

I took a photo of him on my phone and text it to Dave, he's like "What the fuck have you done to him!!"

Then I got a tummy bug and have been vomiting and toilet-destroying all morning.

BUT.

We have had the best weekend together. Yesterday, we held our own personal U2 concert, blasting video clips on the big TV. It was kind of triumphant for us both ... not even U2 could make me feel better last year after Dave got diagnosed, so I shunned them for a while. The first song that came up was "Beautiful Day" and looking at the DVD cover I noticed it was filmed in France in October 2000. The exact same month I got clean. I had a funny river feeling in my heart, and looked at Rocco as he held his dummy up to the sounds, like he was waving a lighter at a rock concert.

"Hello! Where did you come from?" We have played and bonded and have not left the house all weekend. My little embryo implanted, and now I am watching Bono sing to him. Beautiful day indeed.



My blog has been nominated for "Most Provocative" ... at first I spun out and thought, is that bad? But, I have decided it's good. What is provocative, anyway ... but truth-telling. (The dictionary says "To provoke sexual desire" but whatever.) When I go about my IRL world, I like to tell the truth, and not pretend.

I went to many rehabs, detoxs, and a few psych wards. (What? We're all crazy, right?) One day, at the last (hopefully) hab I was in, I asked to read my file. The counsellor questioned why, then handed it over. I will never forget the very first sentence:

"Eden has no idea what being honest means."

Some brain synapses started to form together ... apart from being insulted, I actually wondered if this was true.

Some eight years later, I like to think I know when I am being honest or not. Some days I am too honest .... I thought I would start this new blog and link it to prospective writing clients, and show off my writing style. HA. No frickin way. I feel like Jim Carey in Liar Liar ... "I ca-ant, lie!!" I have a tendency to be a "naked" blogger and I just can't help it. I won't say "Dave and I had an argument" but "I want to rip Daves head off, why did I get married?" Not "I was sick this morning" but "Just then in the shower I pushed pieces of coffee-flavoured apple down the drain with my toes." Not "I have a touch of PND" but "I want to run away from my family to some exotic island and do hard drugs with a toyboy lover."

I have a big post brewing about what blogging has meant to me. I started two years ago, to document my IVF process. And then all this "life" stuff happened, so I kept writing. I'm extremely excited about my new header that I've ordered. Game on, baby. But, Lisa just woke up and I need to go and vomit right now. I will NEVER get used to vomiting from sickness and not alcohol. It's just not right.