Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Panic at the Disco

It was a fully-fledged panic attack.

What caused it? The thought of another night living in Screamingland.

I haven't had a panic attack like that for eight years! I'm strangely proud of myself, and immensely relieved it wasn't my heart.


I've changed my method, and now sit next to his cot. It took an hour to put him down tonight ... he wasn't crying, just kept looking at me, making sure I was still there. So I guess that's what I'll do from now on. He needs to have some good, big sleeps, the poor guy. I took his nappy off tonight before his bath ... you'd think I would have learnt by now. Familiar grunting noises led to me running over to him and neatly catching the massive poo. In my bare hands. Max stood there in disbelief. I said, Max .... these are the kinds of things you do when you are a parent.

Max said he is NEVER going to be a parent.


  1. I'm so glad for you. I was a little worried after yesterday's post, but I'm happy to hear you've found a way to make it work. I once let my son cry until he threw up (which, to be fair, was only about 20 minutes) but I didn't realize it until after he'd fallen asleep. So I cleaned him up as best I could, and was able to get the sheet out from under him without waking him up, but I had to leave him in his pj's that had a little vomit on them. It was quite sad and I felt like a horrible mother. It happens to the best of us. You're doing great.

  2. That was like a tag line moment, or something. Catches poop with her bare hands ... Faster than projectile vomit ...

    DS1 got a load of his brother's load mid-change yesterday. He made a big fuss about how gross it was. I told him to get over it. To grow up (not something one usually tells a six year old), that it was just poop. And if he thought ~that~ was bad, then he should never have children.

    Mom, GIRLS have children. Not BOYS.

    I opened my mouth to correct him. And then shut my mouth. I opened my mouth again to correct him. And then shut it.

    It was one of those moments. We were both right.

  3. Oh, Katie!! Thank you so much mate, you mysterious creature. The thing is, I KNOW it will be good for him, in the long run. He needs to sleep properly!

    My sisters are talking me off the ledge daily, thank God.

    Well done on cleaning the sheet under your son, that's impressive. Next, you'll be pulling out a tablecloth from a fully laden table.

  4. I had to fish a turd out of the bathtub last week. Now I get to hear a chorus of "I don't want to go poo" every night at bath time. And pull the little menace out of the bath to sit on the toilet for 5 minutes. Bath time now takes forever!

    I hope this is the last panic attack you have for a looong time. It shouldn't be so hard to get children to sleep! We finally developed a routine, after about 6 difficult months (between 12 and 18 months). Now that she's almost 3, she's started the bedtime manipulations (I'm hungry, I want to watch TV, I'm thirsty, I have to go pee-pee, another story,etc.) which make me crazy. She's cutting into my peaceful time!

    Anyway, we did the gradual withdrawl, and it worked pretty well. Good luck, and I hope you have no more screaming.

  5. Eden, the mighty poo catcher!



  6. EWWWWW. See these are the glamorous things of paretning I've missed out on so far...hmn...Oh I'll have so many questions for you...

    Panic attacks still sneak up on me -- just the beginnings of one -- I can feel the tightening in my chest and then I have to talk myself happens less now, but still there...

    Be gentle with yourself love,



  7. Oh my gawd, what a horrifying experience!!! Poo catching!!! Arrgghhh. I once witnessed my uncle catching projectile vomit and the scene is still etched into my brain, lucky Max will probably also carry poo-catching imagery around for his life too.

    Awfully glad you weren't having a heart attack :o)

  8. Between this and my last post, you must be catching little dribs and drabs from my life. I found out on Monday that my dad is in the hospital with a - wait for it - pulmonary embolism, which he had once before about 15 years ago. Great! Then in the middle of the night on Monday, I woke up to go pee, went back to bed, and then felt really funny, like I was going to throw up. But I didn't, and I think it was just massive anxiety about my dad that had just got delayed a bit. I don't know if I'd call it a panic attack, but it was as close as I've ever come to one, I think - all shaky and heart pounding. Ick.

    So even though our lives are totally different, they are eerily the same, no? Although I haven't caught any poop in my bare hands lately. I'll get back to you in 5 or 6 months on that one.

  9. Ya, It's a shitty job but someone has to do it!
    Poor Max's he's gonna be scarred for life.

  10. LOL!! That's too cute. Maybe that needs to be a video in sex ed class at school!!

  11. Sorry about the panic attack. How scary. I'm sooo glad though that it was only a panic attack and not a heart attack. What would we do without Eden?
    That catching the poo in your hands??EWWWW. I don't know that I would have been able to do that. You are wonder woman.

  12. I say you get a "mom of the year" award for catching poo in your bare hands.

    You are a better woman than I...

  13. I hope those panic attacks don't come too often.

    Man you are a legend catching poop with your bare hands !

  14. LOL! Poor Max. Your awesomeness does not stop!


  15. PS~ I'm going to look like a stalker on your stat tracker. I clicked your site open, then minimized the window for three hours until I could get back to it. :/ Sorry!


  16. We've been trying this for a couple weeks now. At first only Mr S could do it- J would scream for hours when I tried. Now, we put him down in the crib, he runs around and plays and chuckles, then he lies down and whines and we lie down on the floor next to the crib and put our hand between the bars. He touches our hands a few times and is out. He now sleeps through the night.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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