Friday, 5 June 2009

Oh Baby

This morning Rocco woke up so listless and upset. He vomited, and then just cried and cried. I knew it was serious when he let me cuddle him, just lay there looking at me. I decided to take him to see a doctor, as there is a long weekend here. No-one could fit him in, so I had to go to the medical centre and wait, as a "walk-in." The poor guy was so upset at that stage, squirming, not happy anywhere. After an hour and a half, one of the docs took pity on us and saw us.

Thank goodness I took him in. He has an ear infection and a secondary chest infection, topped off with a nasty fungal nappy rash. He's on antibiotics, with strict instructions so take him straight to hospital if he gets worse. He has a dreadful cough, very rattley. He ate some dinner tonight and vomited all over me, dripping all through my hair.

He is asleep now, in his cot. Needless to say, he has the emergency dummy in his mouth. He has never been this sick, looking at me like, help! I keep going into his room, making sure he is still breathing. It's freaky. Dave and the other boys are away, so it's just me and the baby. I'm so flat I'm not even scared ... usually I visualise being murdered in my sleep, by a crazy loon who has been living in our roof for three months. But I'm just too tired tonight. I had to lug all the fricking wood in and light the fricken fire, like some kind of pioneer woman. I usually like doing this but tonight I just wished there was a button to press for instant heat.

I wish there was a button to press for a do-over on Roccos first year of life. I hope he knows how much I love him. Controlled crying during the sickest week of his life? Awesome.

The only good thing is, I finally got a new charger for the video camera. So when he gets better I can film him again. I never found my mobile phone .... all the video and photos of Rocco in his first 6 months were in there, never downloaded because I am an IDIOT. I couldn't charge the camera on his first birthday because of the missing cord. It really does feel like I fail him a lot. Even though he is sick, it's so nice to pour myself all over him. Children are so forgiving, it never fails to humble me.

I'm off to load so much wood on this frickin fire that it turns into a sauna. Maybe smoke out crazy loon roof guy.
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