In the past three hours he has eaten one of my earplugs, bitten into a full cake of soap - and chewed it, and thrown every single peg off the back deck.
Earlier, Max, the baby and I went out for lunch. Max was on the cafe computer when our meals came .. he had ordered a kids cheeseburger and I had a chicken burger. The waitress set down my meal ... and then plonked Maxs cheeseburger on top of the babys high chair tray. "Here you go!" She said cheerily to the eleven month old.
Rocco thought Christmas had come early and promptly headbutted his burger, Max turned around at that moment and said "Yuuuuuuck!!!!" .... and I, unable to control my laughter, told the waitress that while the baby probably could eat a burger, he's still a little young.
She was mortified, said "OMG I don't know anything about babies! Sorry!!"
Right now, he is sitting out on the driveway, eating rocks. I'm watching him, resigned, waving my white flag. I think I'm scared of him.
If the baby had a wallet, it would say "Bad Motherfucker."