Monday, 30 March 2009

Suicide Watch


The baby wants to kill himself.

I'm not kidding when I say he's tough ... he's frickin' unbelievable. Last week, he got stung by a BEE. He cried, a bit. And then watched with fascination as mummy dug deep into his finger with a sterilized needle to get the stinger out. I told my sister Leigh about it, she laughed so hard and thinks he definitely suits his name. She said "Actually, I thought of a new name for him ..... Rocco Balboa!"

Which has kind of stuck.

It's like he's superhuman or something ... like the IVF people accidentally created a Superbaby. He pulls himself up people legs ... anyone's, it doesn't matter. Random strangers in the street. They always think he will spin out when he realises he hasn't climbed up me .. umm, no, he's just checking you out!

He does backflips when I change his nappy (NOT funny), goes berserk when in the bath, and squeals with delight when Dave dunks him under the showerhead. He crawls on the big fat gravel in our driveway ... with no pants on. Leaps up stairs, and pushes his highchair across the room. He bashes all of us up .... endearing for 2.1 seconds and then plain annoying. And then, scary! He hurts, grabbing flesh with his bare fist and turning and pulling on it. You half expect him to say. "Go ahead, punk. Make. My. Day."

He's had so many spills down the two steps in the middle of the living room .. but he never cries for long, and is off and scooting around in no time. He tries so hard to jump out of my arms when I'm carrying him .... that the other day he almost did, I freaked out and yelled out "NO!" Really loudly which made him cry and made me feel like an arsehole. A woman in the car next to us frowned at me .... I felt like a terrible baby-shouter-atter.

Until I walked past her car and smelt the cigarette smoke wafting out, noting HER baby strapped in the seat behind her.

People in smoke-filled glass houses should not throw stones.

He's a joy, this baby 'o'mine. Still hard hard hard work ... and I'm counting down the months til he turns one. He won't be a baby for much longer ... sometimes I wonder if he ever really was.

14 comments:

  1. That picture is precious.

    It must be very worrisome, but very entertaining to have a little daredevil. I hope you can teach him a little caution!

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  2. As you know, I feel your pain brozinski - but at least your aren't 5 months pregnant at the same time!!!
    And she's not kidding re the flesh grabbing folks - this kid means BUSINESS!!
    I love his guts though xox
    Arnie Linda x

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  3. Seriously - Are our Boys Related. I will take a picture of my childs knees from crawling on the concrete/gravel. I will place a HUGE blanket down and he scoffs at the thought. He would rather eat leaves and rough it.

    It's entertaining.

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  4. OHHH be careful. I have one of those. He still scare me and he is 18 (if he survives more death-defying feats, he will be 19 in two weeks).

    The kid never stops. Goes full out in sports, never stops when he is hurt, slows briefly but comes back with a vengeance!

    I know exactly what your mom life will be in the coming years.

    Hey, mine lasted till second grade before his first broken bone--broken at school, on the playground.

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  5. He's definitely one tough kid!

    I'm guessing my boys will be the same way (at least one of them). I mean, their Dad did break his arm then help put a new roof on a house 3 days later. Now severing the tips of two fingers slowed him down for a little while, but not long. He's fearless!

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  6. He's going to be one of those adrenaline sports stars...my god he's handsome. Look at him.

    Can we do an arranged marriage if I ever have a girl? Really, come on...


    XO

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  7. God, he is so frickin cute I can hardly stand it! Our little monsters, I mean babes, are a bit destructive as well. At least, I'm not always the subject of the destruction because they're starting to pick on each other as well. Nothing like two 12 month old babies pulling each other's hair and biting each other's fat little hands and leaving teeth marks!

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  8. I love this picture of the two of you, Eden. You look absolutely smitten with your little manly man. I know some kids like him (maybe not quite as tough, but definitely risk takers) and I have to say that they are completely awe-inspiring. Because I am and have always been a book-loving nerd with a poor sense of adventure and perhaps an over-sensitivity to adrenaline.

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  9. It must be a Boy Germ thing, my twins would never fall over.

    Yes, I'm kidding. They also scratch each others eyeballs. Nice!

    J

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  10. Maybe you should start putting his underwear on the outside, strap a cape on him and call him Superman! He sounds like on tough guyo. Sam is into the whole flesh-twisting thing, too. He got my nipple the other day. Um, OW. You are not the only baby houter-atter!

    xoxoxox
    Flicka

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  11. He is sooo beautiful. Just yummy.

    I'm really excited about all the little boy roughhousing stuff I have to look forward to. I can't wait for Owen to get more mobile. I think.

    And you named him perfectly!

    XO

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  12. Tell me about it. I don't know how boy children make it to maturity.

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  13. enjoy all his days as a baby! they do go by so fast....=(

    somehow Holdyn turned 6 months!

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