Tuesday, 10 March 2009

My Husband is a Turd, and other funny stories.

Dave knows I blog. So does Tim, and Max. I asked them all for their permission to write about them on here, providing I don't embarrass them. None of them ever come and read, anyway. I started reading out a post to Tim one day, until I looked over at him slumped in the chair faux-snoring. "You're boring me." ... was all he said, before he walked out of the room.

Sometimes, I see myself in Tim. Which is pretty freakin' cool, considering I'm "only" his stepmum. Once at dinner recently, Max was talking about his new found love of Pokemon cards. (Which I can't stand, they are hideously ugly) .... Tim started reminiscing about how, when he was younger, he used to collect Pokemon cards. And how his mum used to tell him they were all sold out at the shop. And than tell him to go look under his pillow .... where she would have put Pokemon cards there.

Then he thought some more .... "Hang on - that wasn't my mum. That was YOU!" Pointing his fully-laden fork accusingly at me. Bits of his dinner went flying across the table.

It was such a wonderful feeling. We have had our ups and downs, but my goodness I love him so much. I met him when he was seven, I was twenty-seven. I had a LOT to learn! We "get" each other, sometimes in more ways than him and his dad do.

The above pic is what happens whenever I drag Dave into a bookshop - he heads for the nearest chair. In this case, it was an actual couch, so he was in heaven. He reckons he does not like books, I'm like, mate, how can you not like books? Books?
So I went running around the bookshop determined to find something he would like. Got him interested in an architectural book, which he loved and almost bought.
Then I found another he might like, so I ran back, put it on him, and of COURSE snapped a photo and uploaded it here.

It's the Kama Sutra pop-up book.
Serves him right for not reading my blog. (Actually, I don't want him reading my blog. He's just a turd.)


  1. Too cute. Mission accomplished. Got him reading SOMETHING at least!

    My step mom did the major portion of raising me and instilling the prepping-for-the-real-world stuff.

    It's a hard job (in youth, often quite thankless) and it seems you're great at it!

  2. You're right! It does serve him right. Too funny! :-)

  3. LOL, pop up?! I had no idea there was a pop up version of that book! Good job with Tim! You're a great step-mum!

  4. Now I know it'll SHOCK you that G, if given the chance (usually after dinner) will stretch out like that and lay down on the floor...G would think Dave was uber cool.

    I love the story about Tim -- I wonder what will happen with W too -- I look forward to those days when I see some little piece of myself --

    What a good job you've done Mama!

    And for the record, as lovely as it is being married to G, who is ALL boy, when we're at odds -- it's, as he would say, horseshit. I don't write about those times as much -- about how he has NO tools to express his feelings, how if W makes him really mad he'll tear off his shirt. Tear. off. his. shirt. Really? I just look at him like 'you've got to be kidding me?'

    Boys. *shaking my head*


  5. Wow, they make a pop up version? Is that for people who need extra help?

    Sounds like you were a good mom from the start and have only gotten better with time, turdballs not withstanding. (Boys are so weird. Especially the grown up ones.)


  6. Ok Eden - YOUR MAN IS HOT! LOL!
    Bugger the pop up book - I was looking at Dave the Turd!! LOL!


  7. ... sorry for the delay, I was busy clicking over to Amazon to order the pop up...

    I puffy heart your stinky, smelly, annoying boys. Pokemon cards aside. Dave splayed out like that in a book store cracks my shit up.

    xoxoxo HAPPY BDAY! xoxox

  8. You are a devious and funny girl, Eden. Putting that book on him and snapping a shot while he's reading about blokey builder stuff. Hahahahahaha!

    And that story about Tim and the Pokemon cards is just so wonderful. I'm going to be thinking of that all day.

  9. Very funny. And a karma sutra pop up book huh? must be quite a book.

  10. Um, what exactly pops up?

    Mr S knows I blog but is afraid I am writing terrible things about him. Eh- only on occasion...


    That's how Mr. W is. The only books he reads are auto manuals or some type of construction-ish book (molding, architect, plumbing, etc).

    The pokemon story almost made me cry. That is so sweet!

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