Sunday, 8 February 2009


Whiney: Someone who exemplifies rather large amounts of crybaby-bullshit in order to: 1) get sympathy from the people around him/her. 2) make them self feel like less of a dumbass

Well, finally I have made it as a blogger! I have received my first drive-by, woooot!! By anonymous, no less. Telling me my blog is starting to sound "whiney". Anonymous, I couldn't agree more! I HATE myself at the moment. Can't stand myself. I am full of self-centred, self-obsessed, whiney drivel. It totally sucks to be me right now, my defects of character are in overdrive. I'm pathetic, I really am. I need to get the fuck over it already .... I'm trying so hard though, it seems to be taking waaaay too long.

Thing is, I started off my last post saying I shouldn't write when I'm so cranky, but did anyway. A few days later, I have some perspective on it. But, I can't address the "perpetrators" who have gossiped and said things about me, as I don't know who they are. People are too scared to tell me. So it's all heresay anyway. It still sucks, though. I could say I don't care, but I do. Of course I care what people think of me. Walking around my sons school is hard anyway, as I can be quite a social retard. I'm terrified of small-talk, like some strange phobia. I'm sure people think I'm a stuck-up snob. I have issues ... a lot, and have never pretended otherwise.

In a few months I will have been blogging for two years. You get your own vibe about it after a while, anonymous. I know for a fact I piss people off. I'm a show-offy, narcissistic, angry, negative bitch.

Blogging can be quite odd. I started this one under my real name, because I feel like I have been hiding my whole life. I'm sick of hiding. I also don't censor myself very well, so if I put it out there, it's at the risk that someone wants to criticize, or disagree. Which I totally don't mind, but when it's under the guise of "anonymous" ... well, that's just plain silly.

You sound a little ..... familiar, anonymous. Don't I know you? Oh - did I mention that there's no such thing as an anonymous comment? You left your IP address behind - What a surprise - you are from Australia! I see you use Windows Vista, how's that going for you? I've heard it's crap.


On a serious note, it's been one of the worst weekends in Australia's history. Bushfires in Victoria have claimed so many lives - entire families, entire TOWNS. Last night, the death toll was at 26. This morning it was 35, now it's 84. And rising. Watching it on the news was heartbreaking. Terrible and brutal. I hugged my boys close, suddenly filled with perspective and gratitude. I'll be donating to the appeal tomorrow.


  1. Eden,

    I don't find you whiney at all. I find you refreshingly honest and open and although I don't know you in real life, you sound like someone I would like to meet someday. A blog is a means to express what you want to express. When I read people who I don't enjoy reading, I don't read them again. Just keep being yourself. You are very lovable!

  2. When someone doesn't have the balls to come out of the shadows to leave a comment...typically the comment isn't worth thinking about.

    You aren't whiny. You are a woman that has had so much shit going on in her life that you are allowing yourself to purge...that my dear, is courageous NOT whiny.

  3. HI Eden! I don't find you whiney and I love how you write, thus I am a follower possibly biased. But I tend to agree with DrSavta if I read a blog I don't like, I don't get on my high horse and tell them, I just move on and mind my own business....our paths are all different. sending you a big hug!

  4. I second that ... You are ~not~ whiney. And if Anon ever had to go through ~half~ of what you survived in the last year (let alone the years before that), she'd be doing well if whining was her only issue.

    Opinions are like butts, everyone has one. Some opinions are informed and some have more to do with the ~person who publicizes them~ than anything else:

    Hmmmmm ... Complaining about another person's personal blog without taking the time to get to know something about the author (Wah, this blog doesn't entertain MEEEEEEEEEeeeee) ... sounds a hell of a lot more like a sign of a character flaw than sharing honestly with your peeps about something irl that upset you.

    Been thinking about your last post since I read it. I totally relate to the awkwardness that you feel and the unspoken hostility that you find. I should have mentioned that our little neighborhood sounds very similar to what you find at school. I haven't blogged about it (for lack of time), but I'll put it on my list. There is a lot of sickness in the social quirks of the 'burbs. And it's worthwhile to take it out and question it ... maybe shake a fist at it now and then. If only so we know we are not alone.


    Keep writing.


  5. It occurs to me that Anon is exactly the kind of person that is the source of all this trouble in the first place ... too willing to drive-by and judge and spew unhelpful, cowardly (anonymous), negative criticism from on high. So maybe it wasn't actually the act of a troll, maybe it was a demonstration to make your point more clear.

  6. You aren't being whiney. It is your blog. If people don't like it, then they do not have to read. I however, love reading your blogs.

    BTW, I LOVE how you called out "anonymous!" LOVE IT!


  7. First off to those who post negative shit anonymously I think they need to grow a pair and stand behind what they have to say. That said I had always told myself that if I ever got an anonymous comment it wouldn't bother me really because it was coming from someone who couldn't even stand behind what they say. Yeah, my first anonymous comment hurt way more than I ever thought it would. As far as whiney? I don't see that. You have a lot going on in your life and a lot to process. Besides, if you can't whine on your blog, where can you. We all love you just the way you are!

  8. You are a totally whiny bitch sometimes. And if you held it all in and waited for perspective, then your blog would be like Sunshine and Rainbows shooting out your ass. I would feel like I am the only whiny person out there and then I would be sad. So go on with your bad self, don't filter because Anon is a fucking tool.

    I puffy heart you, with whiny little sugar beads on top.

  9. Dear Anon- i am tired of people who do not have the courage to attach an identity with their opinions on the internets

  10. I agree with the other fabulous, beautiful ladies, you are NOT whiney. It's your blog and if you want to express how you feel, then so be it! I would think whinnying would be you complaining about a stubbed toe or something of that sort. NOT Cancer, for the love of Goddess! Your life changed drastically and it's going to take time for you to comprehend that. It's scary shit. I know!

  11. Everyone deserves to cry sometimes.
    I am so glad to hear you and your family is alright regarding the fires.
    Prayers, Eden.


  12. Had to turn the tv off - couldn't watch the devestation any more.

  13. Woo hoo. A driveby. I've never had one, which is odd, because I am very whiney. :)

    I think they're from brissy, too, Eden. Telstra Internet it seems.



  14. Anonymous is a b*tch. She stalked me and other blogers I enjoy. She is a coward. You are very, very strong, brave and honest. I say turn your anonymous comments off.

    I've been thinking about my Australian friends during this tragedy. It's awful.

  15. Funny, I never thought of you as whiney. Passionate, yes. Explosive, of course (in the best of ways.) As real as can be, ummm, YES. All of that is why I love you. It just strikes me as odd that someone would think you are whiney because you use YOUR SPACE to vent YOUR FEELINGS about a REAL EVENT but yet they can't be bothered to leave their real moninker. Is hypocritical the word I'm looking for? I think it just might be.

    As Dr. Savta said, the beauty of the internet is that if you don't like reading something, click away. What a better world it would be if people would just CLICK AWAY.

    Anyway. I've been thinking about you and the brushfires, wondering if you were anywhere near. Australia is in my prayers.


  16. Hi Honey, it's me, "anonymous", and you're all wrong. My name is Kathy. I'm writing from Illinois USA, and I have to say I am glad Eden has caught up with the fact that everyone has tragedy. Saw the reports on Reuters about your forest fires over there. So very sad to hear. There is a very good reason I am "anonymous" and that is this - like millions of others on this planet, I am in recovery. I volunteer for a zealot-styled recovery group in my home state (we have an Australian portal) and we flagged Eden's blog as soon as she used the word "recovery" in her masthead. In recovery, we remain anonymous. At meetings, yes, but our group is over the amount of "meetings" people in recovery are "attending" online, so we thought to do something about it, and challenge those spruiking about recovery online to keep it at the real meetings IRL where hey, you don't get any feedback or "comment". In a sense, Eden, you do know me - through the world wide network of meetings. We're all ex-grifters, ex-hookers, ex-high rollers, ex-junkies, drinkers, love addicts, finance cheats, and we're all messed-up and dealing with tragedies. We don't want that known about town (or across the world), so we keep it anonymous, like Eden did with her fertility-type blog. Go ahead, blog about anything, but we believe recovery is best kept IRL. If Eden really is in recovery, she knows the "rules" and she doesn't need anyone to punch-out any critics. On that note, free constructive suggestion from a critic (instead of endless "you are fine how you are" dross) - how about letting your child walk, ride or take the bus to school ? Then you never need face any witches ever again. I note you like U2, who once asked in song "does it make it any easier on you now you've got someone to blame?". Does it make it easier for Eden to face the day by jazzing about the schoolyard witches (blaming them for pissing her off) than doing something else with her time ? That "something else" could be very exciting for you Eden. This is, of course, a take-it-or-leave-it zap of truth, and you good ladies will never hear from me again (more "recovery" bloggers to zap) but Eden will know what I mean when I qualify myself by saying I've got 17 years up, and I've found today's reason too. All without blogging.

  17. You whiney Australian cow. Nah. Not really. And if I did want to say that to you (which geez, like I ever would!!!) I would so not be "anonymous". Hang it all out there hon. We can take it...and that's what a blog is all about. And when "anonymous" next drives by let us know and we'll take care of it.

    I cried watching the news here. So sad - 130 now dead, many more injured. And you know the strangest thing, my Eden? We have had the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises - because of the smoke haze drifting over the ocean to us. Is there a message in that?

    I don't know, but I share your sadness and grief. I work with a few guys from Vic and I know how worried and sad they are.

    Anyway darl, keep up the whining. Cos ya know - it keeps folks like "anonymous" amused - and can you imagine what would happen if he/she got bored?

    Love. Hugs. Lets so do lunch one day!

  18. Oh my God I just read anonymous' comment. Illinois. Yeah...that figures doesn't it?

    Ya know...who makes the goddamn rules? Ooh. You're in recovery. And somehow that gives you the right to take a crack at someone?

    Zap of truth my ass. Zap of a wee bit too much sun combined with a glass or five of zinfandel is more like it.

    Sheesh. Makes me glad I am so normal. Ha.

    Hey Eden, catch ya on FB soon ok darl?

  19. So Anonymous is in recovery and she feels far superior for doing it by not bloging but she is happy to highjack your blog.


    You need to look at yourself a bit harder lady and work the 4th step with a bit more honesty.

  20. Clearly there is something seriously wrong with me since it was your fully self-centred, self-obsessed, whiny drivel that captured my attention and kept me reading! Don't ever stop and don't ever apologise for it. As so many others have said, if I don't like what you say or how you say it, I have options. But I have to say that anonymous commenting is not one of them.

    I have found, in the course of my personal and professional life, that far too often people leap to judgement without having all the details they need to understand the story. I love it when people don't try and dress up difficult situations with sunshine and rainbows. And just because IRL recovery works for her is absolutely NO guarantee that it will work for others. If blogging helps keep you on the recovery track then do as much of it as often as you bloody well like.

    On your more serious note, we watched the progress of the big fire at Kinglake from our balcony on Saturday night hoping and praying that it would be contained. Earlier that very morning, Life Partner went out for his usual two hour bike ride right through the places that were totally destroyed later in the day. Weather-wise it was just the most brutal of days. A friend of mine is safe but her house is gone. I spend two lovely weekends a year in Marysville and it is totally destroyed. It is incomprehensible and we are all just so sad for everyone affected.

  21. Anons are typically spineless. Why say hurtful/hateful things if you're not willing to stand behind them.

    You? Whiney? SHIT! If I'd been through even a tiny portion of what you've survived through...well lets just say I doubt it would have been as much of a learning experience for me as it has been for you.

    I hope you and your man enjoy your weekend together. Happy 9 years!!

  22. I tried to comment on your most recent post, but can't find a way to do so. The fires are scary aren't they. We don't have any big ones in SA yet either, but my heart goes out to the folks in Vic.

    Now, about blogging/recovery/anonymity. It's nobody's business what you blog about and Kathy is dead wrong on that one. I don't write much about recovery on my site - it's a combination of my interpretation of the 11th tradition and a bit of cowardice. I find your site really valuable as a fellow alky, I love reading about your journey in recovery. Love relating. You're not violating any of the priniciples of AA and Kathy should know that. You're not breaking anyone elses anonymity either, so keep it up, Eden!

  23. Wow, Illinois is just crawling with scumbags lately. I doubt it made international news, but Illinois just fired their governor for being corrupt. Now, Kathy from Illinois has gone from bitching that you're whiny to chastising you for being in recovery on the internet. Wow, I guess she doesn't like being criticized by strangers. I think I know what state tourists will be avoiding if the citizens of Illinois keep acting like this...

  24. Eden, I am sorry to hijack your blog but I hope you will forgive me. I cannot remain silent.


    Here's the thing: if you really care about Eden's recovery, if you really want to see her succeed, then your advice would have taken a totally different tack. You'd have emailed her in private, taking your comments away from the public. You'd have toned down your judgement and instead come alongside her, one addict to another and tried to help her see what you were saying. 17 years of recovery and meetings should have taught you that it takes a relationship to speak into someone's life, you can't just land down from across the internet with a nasty comment and expect instant respect. You want to help Eden? Build a relationship with her. Get to know her. This blog is a tiny snapshot of the totality that is her; I am flabbergasted that you think this represents the entirety of her life and personality.

    But helping Eden wasn't really your goal, was it? You wanted to prove how right you were. How wise. Your 17 years of recovery surely makes you an expert on how she should and shouldn't act! Clearly, from just one blog entry, you have good perspective on where she is in her recovery. You've never felt such feelings and if you did, you always dealt with those feelings properly, I'm sure. You are righteous. You and God are a team; both totally in a position to judge.

    Listen, Kathy. If you were Eden's sponsor maybe we'd all need to sit back and shut up. But you're not; you're a random internet troll who invaded a blog because your zealot group decided you are purveyors of truth. You're not. You've got a poor foundation, Kathy. When you come into someone's space and pick a fight, they're not going to just lay down and say "OH! You're RIGHT! I'd better CHANGE!" I think it's time to rethink your approach.

    And maybe? Try to reach out to those in recovery in your local area instead of trolling the internet for people you don't know.

    Recovering Bitch
    (backsliding today)

  25. We're all shocked by these fires, and the horrible tragedy of so many lives lost. I just wanted to stop by and say that we are thinking about and praying for our Aussie friends.

  26. Ever night when I see the news about those fires, I say a prayer that you and your family are safe and another one for those who obviously aren't. So glad to hear you're safe!

    I don't think you're whiney! I also don't think you're a social retard of any sort, not with the way you can write! You're quick and witty and I love to hear what you say about your life.

    Have a wonderful, peaceful, relaxing weekend with your husband!!! I love that card! Wish I could find one just like it for my husband.

  27. Bravo on your newest post. I thought about "Kathy" from "Illinois" and her judgemental post. Who the blank gave her "Mrs. Righteous" as a title? Se is a blog stalker but doesn't have the guts to have her own? Geesh! I think she is full of shit.
    Luv ya!

  28. Kathy, how did you ever get to be such a silly twat? Really. You truly are a marvel.

    Eden, my dear, I get so much out of reading your blog. Don't ever stop. Without your honesty and genius and top-shelf swearing abilities, life would be so unbearably dull. Smooches to you.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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