Friday, 30 January 2009


Dear Big Lizard Who Lives Near the Front Door,

PLEASE stop scaring the crap out of me every time I walk outside. You look like a freaking snake - please start acting more lizard-like. I know it's hot and you need to rest in the shade, but you are shaving years off my life.

Scared Lady who Screams


Dear Sun,

Thank you. I love you. You have cracked me open and warmed me up from the deepest winter I have ever known. Like, some kind of fucked-up fairy tale. Thank you for the heatwave. I love it, and have already started to feel sad that you cannot stay here forever. Apparently, my peeps in America are going to need you soon, so I shall begrudgingly share you.

The Fair-Skinned Sun Worshipper


Dear Manufacturers of Clothing,

It's SUCH a coincidence that you ALL have made size 12 so small, since I had the baby *ahem*. I hope you correct your error soon *ahem*.

Yummy Mummy Wannabe


Dear Melancholy Mood,

Go AWAY already! C'mon ..... newsflash, the cancer crisis is over! Give me a break. I'm going to the gym and eating right - why must you persist in hanging around me like a bad smell? I'm hoping that if I ignore you, you will go away. Otherwise I may have to pull out the Big Guns.

Sad Traumatised Woman


Dear Bloggy Peeps,

I heart you a million times, think of you often, and wonder how you are. Visiting your blogs makes me feel like I have stepped into my grandmothers house and she has made a warm batch of pikelets just for me ... FOR DINNER. I'm sorry I have not commented much lately, but I simply cannot do the drive-by comment. I need more time. Oh ..... and I so have not forgotten the parcels. It's just, there's a lot, and I'm trying to not buy a shitload of Made in China crap to post, and make them all thoughtful for you, etc. I promise to try harder.

Topcat XOXOX


Dear Dead Dads,

Halfway through Pump class last week, it suddenly occurred to me. I am stronger than both of my dads put together. You have failed, at life.

And I have not.

You both ripped my heart out in more ways than you will ever, ever know. That pain did not "shape who I have become." I have shaped who I have become. Sucks to be you. (But I hope you are ok and not in purgatory like that priest told me once.)

That Red Haired Girl You Never Bothered to Stay Alive For.


Dear Dave,

You are like Benjamin Button - growing younger every day. You look hot again. The thought of losing you is unbearable. Please stay well.

Your Wife (Wife! We got married hahaha!)


Dear God,

I forgive You.

Love Eden


  1. Dear Eden,

    Being a heathen like me is fun, because there is no purgatory.
    And no hell. Just life being renewed, life winning the game, over and over again.

    Mrs Spock

    PS: Please share some of that freaking sun. I'm sick of this snow.

  2. Great letters! Thanks for sharing the sun...we could certainly use it. Maybe if you start feeding the lizard, he'll start behaving better.

  3. Beautiful Post Eden!!!


    Every time you mention pikelets I look them up online, then see what they are (yummy) and then remember I looked them up last time you mentioned them. It sucks to be my memory.

    I swear the main reason I have never really craved visiting the land down under is because of all the scary deadly creepy crawly bitey things ya'll have there. I feel like I would have to watch every step for fear of all those creatures! ACK!!

    Lovely to see you turn your face to the sun on here as well!!

  4. You are one rocking chick.

    And this is a Kirtsy-worthy post.

  5. Love this post.

    And I totally agree that "they" are making size 12 smaller than they used to.



  6. Totally laughing at the letter to the lizard.
    And you mention the clothing manufactures who make their clothing too small? My closet seems to have a shinking spell cast on it because EVERYTHING I put in there shrinks!!!
    This is such a great post.

  7. Dear Sister my sister,

    You never cease to amaze me with your writing.

    NAN'S PIKELETS - OH MY GOD, I forgot all about em - YUUUUUMMMMMM!!

    Re your lizard, i have 2 of the pricks and they scare the SHIT outta me every time. Jonnie even called a snake guy once coz he saw a head pokin out the drain (he later cancelled the guy a bit sheepishly realising it was good ole bluie!) - mine are about a foot long! Bluie seems to be missing though, and I kinda miss him!

    Tell Doohn Doohn Dave to shake off that drum and call me up - he is even HOTTER when he drums people - I SWEAR! I am so loving hearing how hot and strong and well and thick of hair he's getting - I LOVE that guy of yours, LOVE!

    Lastly my sister oh sister - I love you SO much, I'm so proud of you and all you have accomplished - SO proud xx Leigh xx

  8. Oh Eden.

    Well, you know you got me, right? -- straight in the heart --

    and the Lizard one sort of frightened me because I live in a place devoid of lizards and can't imagine sharing space with them...

    I love you woman, you are getting stronger, in all ways -- be gentle with yourself and come whenever you can, there will always be pikelets.

    As for 12 -- as I recall in your world that is a smaller size than in my world -- I found that out the hard way when I bought something from Boden in a twelve... perhaps I should send it on with my other parcel which is months late in coming. I am queen, as I said, of procrastination.




  9. Eden,

    You are an inspiration to me. I feel like I know you and I have so much love for you and I think of you often. I hope we meet someday, even if it's in heaven.
    Cindy...and I do really need that hot sun so whenever you are finished...thanks! xoxoxoxo

  10. I have frogs that scare me too death! Frogs!
    I can't even imagine what a lizard would do to my BP.
    I think if it was me I would introduce my dog to the thing.
    Bye Lizard!
    You sound like your doing better. I'm so glad.

    ps....Dave is looking super hot!

  11. Ah, Eden.

    You like this heat?

    I like a nice summer, but it was 46 degrees in the shade outside my house yesterday (that's over 113 for you farenheit'ers).




  12. Ok, pikelets are on the menu for my house this weekend. I had never heard of one until today, but I love them already.

    I hope this strikes you as funny, because it certainly did me, but reading this I found myself thinking, "It must be so cool to be Eden."

    And then I remembered that we are the same. And I laughed.

    Cause if I were you, I would lose my perspective on how cool it is to be you, and would continue to obsess over the minutiae of my life, except it would now be your life. You know? And that just seems funny to me, that I get all wistful to be somebody else even when being somebody else would not likely bring me one iota of relief from my own weirdness, because there would just be other weirdness. And when I say weirdness, I mean it to include your magnificence, your compassion, your cursing, your sense of humour - you know, everything.

    Whew. I will be posting a photo of my new haircut later today and you better brace yourself because it is way more awesome than the last one.


  13. Oh E. I am despising the hell out of winter right now, but you are the one person that I would put up with a year of winter for because you deserve the sun, after everything you have been through. Mother Nature owes you. And I just love the thought of you warming your bones. And I totally know what you mean about it opening you up. Deep into winter here I feel so brittle, so beseiged. I might shatter.

    Loved this post.

    I hate to drive-by comment myself. I know what you mean.



  14. Dear Eden,

    I puffy heart you, infinitey.

  15. :) Awesome letters. Some so heart-touching. But yet some so funny "scared lady who screams"

    I am so fucking sick right now, I haven't commented like I should have. But may I say I think of you almost daily as I see monkey's clothes in my drawer? Even more when my little karl is wearing some of them. Just today he wore the striped fuzzy pj's - they finally fit, well, kindof - and then he peed on it and had to be changed. again.

    I mean, how fucking COOL is it that karl is wearing monkey's clothes? It seems surreal and utterly cool. Funniest thing is I never accept used clothes. I'm vain like that. Yet I washed and folded up every single thing you gave me and is sitting in his "to be worn" drawer. :) I must like you or something.

  16. oh yeah, I don't like you. I adore you.

  17. Great post Eden, I love every letter.
    Oh Blue tongues are ok, but yes they can look like snakes we used to have one at our old house. Just think of all the horrible scary spiders he is getting rid of for you.

    So glad we are in Sydney and not in Melbourne and Adelaide heat, I think I would die ! A nice beach day tomorrow yay ! Can't wait.

  18. Dear Eden

    I heart you. Lots.

    Pixxiee the facebook friend.

  19. I was not crying UNTIL I read your last letter. *sigh* I might need to forgive God? I don't know, working on it though. I *BIG PUFFY* heart you more then I can say! You are an amazing woman! I use to look up to you, but now I realize I don't have to look up to you, I can look to my side because you are RIGHT there! Thank you for EVERYTHING! HUGS!!!

  20. HOW is that that I have not discovered you? Where the heck have I been? I read all the blogs of you commenters? What gives? Happy to have found you.

    I laughed, I cried. Your last letter took my breath away.

  21. I think this is one of the best posts I have read in a long time. I loved every word of it! It was perfect!

  22. I'm not sure what made me mushier...your letters or Rex's letter to you.

    And thank you for sharing the sun. Even though it's not actually cold where I am, I miss my heat and sun!

    As far as wardrobes go...I honestly thought my boys clothes had shrunk the other day. Duh! They're growing!

  23. My Dearest Eden,

    Strength is something that you have tenfold. Being sad or angry or even depressed has no bearing on your strength. I so hope you see that! I have so admired your strength since the first time I stumbled onto your blog.

    But, it is the last letter here, that has made me pause and brought the tears. It is only 7 words--7 very powerful words. Forgiving God? Maybe if you can do it, someone who has so very much to be angry about, I can do it, too.

    Thank you, Eden. For being the wonderful person who is you.

    With love as always,

  24. My favorite is the letter to the lizard. I hope he writes back.


Write to be understood, speak to be heard. - Lawrence Powell

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