Sunday, 11 January 2009

I Motherfucking Love These Photos

Dave was a few months away from death, when Rocco was born. "Lucky" for us his tumours got detected when they did. In this photo, you do not see a father who is wondering if his new baby will ever know him. You just see a father, loving and teaching his baby a new toy. Simple. We never knew if this photo could ever, ever happen. But it did, and I took it, and the baby loves dada so much, and what a fucking relief I can let go of it all because everybody seems to be ok now ...

Most people annoy the crap out of me. I am what Nicholas Cage add-libbed in Leaving Las Vegas when he fell over onto the freshly smashed glass .... a prickly pear. People let you down. They say silly things. They engage in mindless chit-chat. I am different to most people. A few times I have told some people that last year was the worst year of my entire life. ALL of them have told me that it couldn't have been ... I mean, look, I had a baby didn't I?

Why yes, I did.

Thing is, having a baby during your husbands cancer battle does not, repeat NOT, make things better. It made everything so, so much worse. I can't even describe.

But this photo - this photo does not show a mother crying crying crying chopping veggies up for dinner, holding her fresh sore c-section scar, iPod blaring Guns n Roses to drown out the inconsolable baby screaming in the other room.
This photo shows a baby chilling on the beach, playing with sand, laughing and forgiving his mama over and over again.

(Oh and it also shows a BRAND NEW PEDICURE. Last time I had one was over a year ago. Memo to pedicure lady ... I am just so , so sorry you had to do that).
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...