I wish you a Hopeful Christmas. I wish you a Brave New Year.

I've had two meltdowns and one altercation with husband .. all before 9am.


No shower yet, baby has kept me up all night, Max is so bored he tells me - almost accusingly, that he is ... "Reading a book, mum!"


The Christmas tree is DEAD, Long Live the Christmas Tree. I still have presents to wrap, supposed to be leaving soon to go down to Sydney to stay at my sisters, Tim doesn't know what time he knocks off work so I picture us all sitting in a fully-laden car, parked outside his workplace, me running in to drag him away. I hope there are no arguments in the car on the way down, Chrissake I just want to get on as a family today. Because, you know, it's Christmas EVE.


Whose ridiculous idea was it to write the Inaugural Christmas Trivia Quiz, aka The Riley Cup? I sit here madly googling "free celebrity trivia questions", and then get so absorbed in them I lose myself. Why DID Ashley Simpson name her son Bronx? Still working out if it's cool or not.


Silly season indeed - it's like the Collective Consciousness of Christmas Mania has descended in my brain. I didn't want to be all manic and psycho about it this year, but apparently I can't help it. I feel overwhelmed and want to go back to bed already.


It has been a freaking hard year, man. I have been much better lately about getting a grip on things, but today I am a USELESS bag of shit.


Someone once told me, (I believe it was my first sponsor) .... "If a things worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Amen to that.


My plan was to write an amazing, gushingly grateful post about what a fantastic Christmas this will be ... and to post a pic of the baby with his matching santa hat and red bib saying "Merry Christmas!"


But, his head is SO ENORMOUS that the hat perches atop it like he is a Giganto Baby from Mars. I should have known it wouldn't fit ... I looked at his head a few days ago, and said to Dave, "Man, I am SO glad I didn't push that head out."


Dave looks at me with a leer and a chuckle. "Yeah .... me too!"


Men.


So here is a pic of me in my office, trying to get work done. Still trying to wrap my head around the fact I have two sons. When the hell did that happen?



Wishing you all, a safe Christmas. Raise your lemonade to me, as we finally enter the last week of the Year That Was. PRAISE JESUS ON A MUFFIN CLOUD.


Salut!


XOXOXOXOXO



I Believe in Father Christmas

They said there'll be snow at christmas
They said therell be peace on earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgins birth


I remember one christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire



They sold me a dream of christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
till I believed in the Israelite



And I believed in father christmas
And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
till I woke with a yawn
in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise


I wish you a hopeful christmas
I wish you a brave new year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear

They said therell be snow at christmas
They said therell be peace on earth
Hallelujah Noel .. be it heaven or hell
This christmas you get you deserve


Click HERE to see Bono sing this. Because, you know ..... BONO.